Tag: Family

Today is Mother’s Day.

The idea of Mother’s Day is to honour mothers for all they have done.

Traditionally, family members give flowers, cards and gifts, or make mums breakfast in bed or take them out for lunch. Or something that is similarly supportive and nice.

I went online to see what was being peddled specifically for ‘cycling mums’.

I expected to see the normal product-pushing commercial crap (which was all there of course), but then I saw an article I found very disturbing.

It was on BikeRoar, a website touted as being an independent product resource website devoted to helping cyclists #BuyLocal – fair enough.

Published last year under the section heading TECH TIPS, it was written by Australian cyclist Jayne Rutter and titled 11 Mother’s Day gifts for cycling mums.

The list of 11 gift ideas looked innocent enough.

• The first item was a water bottle.
• The second was a free massage.
• The third was a book.
• The fourth ‘a 2-hour leave pass from the kids’ to ride to a local café
• The fifth was a Run Angel Personal Safety Device

…………..and it was the last one that stopped me.

I didn’t read on.

There is so much wrong with this list.

First, the article is listed under ‘Tech Tips’. It has 11 items, but only one (#5 above) is actually a tech product. There is a Garmin mount (#6), but not the actual Garmin. Odd. I sincerely hope this is not because of some preconditioned, subtle, habitual, gender stereotype like women aren’t good at tech…. 1 out of 11?

But more than that, it was the actual product #5 itself I found unsettling.

I appreciate that this product comes from a place of concern.

But its very existence is a recognition that abuse of women is so widespread that no woman is safe – at any time.

Violence against women has become so commonplace that giving a personal safety alarm to our mothers is one of the top five gifts we can get her. Really? Top five. I find that so disturbing.

Have we become so accepting and desensitised that violence against women occurs so regularly that we are equipping our mothers with panic alarms – for when they ride their bikes in broad day light!

What the hell!!

Do you know any male cyclists who wear panic alarms?

I find it disconcerting that most people would not see, or question how disempowering for women this seemingly harmless Mother’s Day list and the giving of a personal alarm is. And therein lies the issue.

Female bike riders are at risk

It can be hard to recognise and understand the scale of abuse women experience.

Women face physical and sexual abuse all the time.

Women constantly get unwanted comments, looks, sniggers, honks and disparaging, offensive, sexualised remarks like ‘I’d hold a knife to that’ (said by two men walking past Laura Bates*). We live in a society where ‘I feel rapey’ t-shirts are now sold on Ebay.*

If you think I’m over-exaggerating, have a look at the Everyday Sexism Project*.

As a woman, riding a bike makes you a target.

Or running.

Or walking a dog.

Or going to school.

Or going to the shops.

Or………………. well, you get the picture.

It can be challenging for the amazing men in our lives to understand the extent and danger to physical safety that just being a female is.

Just because you might not see it or experience it yourself, does not mean it is not happening.

Women routinely feel unsafe. We live in a culture where women are culturally trained to fear men, being outside, being mobile, being in public and being alone.

Verbal attacks, sexual assault, rape and street harassment are commonplace. Just ask a female friend or family member about getting public transport after dark.

Aside from all these issues, the personal alarm is also problematic because it puts the responsibility of criminal behaviour on the (would-be) victims. Women. As Laura Kipnis points out “I can think of no better way to subjugate women than to convince us that assault is around every corner”.

We place the responsibility of persistent and immediate danger on women, who then restrict their movements, reduce activities and live in a perpetual state of anxiety. That’s control.

Yup, the epitome of a modern, free, independent woman.

Another issue is that the personal alarm suggests that women are unsafe only when out of the house – like when riding a bike – and that attacks are only perpetrated on the street by strangers. Yes, this happens a lot, but it is not the full picture.

The idea that women are only unsafe in public is a fallacy.

A Personal Safety Survey conducted in 2012 by the Australian Bureau of Statistics indicated that most instances of violence against women were perpetrated by someone known to them: around 74% of women who had experienced violence in the last 12 months, and 87% of women who had experienced violence since the age of 15, reported that the perpetrator was someone they know.^[8]

Abuse of female cyclists occurs every day

Women know this abuse happens, but sadly, most men are unaware of the extent and impact gender and sexual harassment have on females and female cyclists.

A few recent news pieces have tried to highlight the issue:

• A biker’s guide to dealing with street abuse
• What is stopping women from cycling?
• Constant abuse stops women riding bikes
• How Street Harassment Affects Female Bike Messengers
• Research Tells Stories of Marginalized Cyclists
• Female Cyclists Face Sexual Harassment in London Every Day, Here Are Their Stories
• Take back the streets, ladies — two wheels at a time
• Transit Agencies Aren’t Doing Enough to Prevent Sexual Harassment

So, this Mother’s Day was frustrating.

I am angry that the happiness and warmth that should be the focus for Mother’s Day is undermined by seemingly ‘nice and thoughtful’ gifts which are actually unchecked, unspoken and unseen consequences of the misogynistic control and abuse of women.

Perhaps a more apt sentiment for today is Happy Fearful Mother’s Day Cycling Mums!

I have hope though.

There are many amazing women and men who call out any behaviour that would make a mother, any woman, or any person, feel uncomfortable.

I salute these people.

I hope our cycling community shows it’s strength, voice and action to make sure ALL riders, including women, are made to feel welcomed, safe and respected every time they ride.

Perhaps then, we’ll have no need of panic alarms for female cyclists.

Here’s to hoping.

Have a safe Mother’s Day all.

Resources:

• *Bates, L. (2018). Misogynation: The True Scale of Sexism. London, UK: Simon and Schuster.
• Violence Against Women Australia 2017
• Rape and Domestic violence Services Australia:  Research Reports and Statistics